Friday, August 15, 2008

Automotive Hair Nets

Time for a bit of a let-out-my-true-feelings rant. And the the target of my venom is, are, automotive bras. The ugly bits of leather, vinyl or not-quite-clear spray plastic that supposedly protects the beauty of your car. And this is the confusing bit, if you are so concerned with the beauty of your car how can you go and drape or permanently apply something so ugly? It would be like having a wife with gorgeous legs but asking her to only wear pants so as not to "get a scratch or bug bite". You are doing the exact opposite of what you are meaning to do.

Bras are troubling on exotic cars. Downright idiotic on mass-produced vehicles. And beyond the pale on a track vehicle. Nothing says nouveau riche more than a panicky attitude that goods always have to look as good as new. 

FACT - Any bra, clear or otherwise, is uglier than any amount of stone chipping.

It's true. And a bra will in time do damage of its own by trapping moisture underneath it. Wearing off a clearcoat. Or, in the case of clear-bras' yellowing along the edge. Everyone who eats with utensils knows that people who protect their furniture with plastic are most likely denizens of a park that holds mobile residences. The same should be true of car bras. And mirror bras? To go back to the female comparison, " I have lovely nails that I've spent some money getting done, so that is why I wear gloves all the time. To protect them."

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